Since I start a new job this coming school year and have been off all summer, I can't really think of any disagreements or conflicts that I currently experience at work. So a disagreement I am currently having is actually with my mom over wedding planning for my wedding. I informed her that I wasn't planning on having a videographer for my wedding because I wanted to use the money for a decorating idea I have. She is not very happy because she thinks the video is more important than the decorations. I told her I could have a family member video tape the wedding and such and it would be much more cheaper. After a couple of weeks we are still in a disagreement, and we often end up fighting over it when it gets brought up. One stragey I think I could use that would solve this disagreement is try to come up with a compromise to the disagreement, such has if they are willing to pay half of the videographer we'll pay the other half, and I'll still have money for the decorations. Another stratgey I could use tot solve this disagreement is try to see the situation through my mom's point of view. Instead of getting defensive, maybe I need to remain calm and compassionate, and maybe then we can come up with a solution without it ending in a yelling match.
Just curious if anyone ever had a problem like this before, and curious how you handled it, or any advice you can give me on how to handle this disagreement.
Abby, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! That's fantastic! I wish you the very best in your marriage. Wedding planning seems like it should be fun but it's actually a very stressful time. I wish I had some words of wisdom for your disagreement with your mother. I can say that I ran into similar situations with my mother and instead of standing up for my ideas I obliged and gave in to her. The result was my wedding was the wedding she never had and there was very little of me in it. Don't do that! It's unhealthy for you and your mom. It's hard when we are learning to be better communicators, those around us are still stuck in unproductive communication patterns. I will pray for a peaceful and satisfying resolution to your dilemma!
ReplyDeleteAbby,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! This is the time when mothers and daughters disagree the most, planning a wedding. We want to please our mothers, but we have to be happy also. Communicate with your mother on splitting the cost for the videographer. I don't like to get in the middle of disagreements, but this is a tough one. Hopefully you and your mom will collaborate on finding a solution.